I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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