i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
