The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
