We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
