I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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