I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
