u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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