Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
