i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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