ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
