i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
