wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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