she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
