No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
