at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
