i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You were trust falling into bushes
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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