Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My pussy is not your playground.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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