we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
