Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
