At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize