She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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