he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
