I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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