glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I understand Curling. That high.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize