I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
