All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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