We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So many bounce houses so little time
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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