when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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