I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
