Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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