I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
