I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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