dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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