There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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