Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
