Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
