i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize