have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
