if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
