Jerry, you need to find god
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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