So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize