does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize