Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
