how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
