Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
