So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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