Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
