Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
