I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
