i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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