I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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