I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
