Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
