I smell stomach acid.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
