you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
