its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
