Quick, to the slutcave!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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