We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize