i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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