Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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