i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
When are your genitals available?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
