Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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